The Opposite Sex

The Ultimate Secret of Women

What red-blooded male isn’t looking for the secret of women? When we interviewed Paul Kyriazi, author of How to Live the James Bond Lifestyle: The Complete Seminar, he spent the most amount of time discussing ‘Bond Girls.’ Paul was nice enough to share some of his insights with us, and impart to us his ’Ultimate Secret of Women.”

Paul Kyriazi: You’ll notice that in the audio book and in the Kindle, the chapter on Bond girls is the largest [70 pages in total on the Kindle]. In the audio, it’s over an hour of Bond girl information, and it’s very serious information. What I’ve discovered is that the man himself doesn’t have to be fun and cool; rather, he just has to take a woman to cool and fun places. He becomes the director of fun; and by osmosis, he’ll be thought of as fun. I learned this in junior high school and high school, when the girls would always say things like, “Oh, this guy is cute,” or “that guy is cute.” But in college I didn’t hear that anymore. Instead, I heard, “That guy is fun!” or “That other guy is no fun. This one is boring, but that other guy is fun.” So ‘fun’ is the secret. Then of course, Cyndi Lauper summed it up with her mantra, “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun.” So I made that the ultimate secret of women.

Yes, women want love, respect, and financial security, and most guys will give them that. But, most men forget all about ’fun.’ Women have told me in person and over e-mail, “Man, you have hit the nail on the head! Guys put the energy in when they’re dating to reel you in, (one girl used that term, “reel you in”) but then, after they’ve got you, they only want to sit and drink beer and watch football games.” Another girl said, “Hey, I’m only 25. I want to go out and have some fun.”

I’ve also gotten emails from guys that said, “I was a couch potato. So I started taking my family out on little outings, dinners and movies,” he says, “They now have a new respect for me.” This single technique has even saved marriages.

The point is, you have to be an entertainer and plan some outings. I remember the comedian, Steve Allen: He was dating his then future-wife in New York, and the first date he took her on was to the sky show at the planetarium. They were driving back after that and she said, “That was fun,” and he replied, “You know, most men would have taken you to dinner at Sardi’s, or to a Broadway play, but I took you to the moon!” I’ve heard so many similar stories; They asked the wife of Michael Caine, “Why do you like him so much?” And she replied, “Well, he always wants to go someplace. He always wants to do something.” I’ve heard Mira Sorvino, when she was dating Quentin Tarantino asked, “Why do you like him?” She replied, “Oh, he’s so fun.” She actually used the word “fun.”

The other thing you need to do is to plan a date. You don’t just hang around or cruise a strip like in American Graffiti, you plan a date. Plan a place to have dinner, a concert, the amusement park. Plan the date as if it was a movie, which includes a proper ending. I’ve seen guys who typically go out in a large group, and one guy will say, “Hey, one more drink, one more night club,” until the night comes to a boring conclusion. So when you feel the energy of the date is dwindling, take the girl home, because she’s got work as well. End it on a high note. Plan the date like a good, nicely edited movie.

What you don’t need is a pickup line or a ’rap’ line. Just ask a girl what her plans are, what her dreams and goals are. Now there’s something to talk about, finding out a person’s dreams. Maybe their dream is to go to college, or to get another apartment, or to live in London for a few months. Whatever. When you find out their dreams, you have something to talk about. Then you can help them make some plans to achieve those dreams. That’s what you talk about on dates, and that’s the ultimate secret.

And speaking of conversation, if you ask James Bond about any subject, “What do you know about gold? What do you know about diamonds?” Bond can usually give them a lecture. He seems to know something about everything. One of the rules of the James Bond lifestyle is: “I read a book a week.” Just by doing that, you’ll have read 52 books a year, or over 500 books in ten years. It’s going to have an impact on your life, and begin to seep into your conversation naturally. You’re not going to show off and start quoting Shakespeare, but you will find them creeping into your conversations. “Wow, where did that come from?” Quoting a classic author, or even a movie like Limitless, will just spice up your own conversations. And this will flow into all areas of your life, and will naturally elevate these areas as you start getting serious about your lifestyle.

This also leads to another very important area of life. If you’re fun and you have good conversation, then that will also carry over into your business life. That’s all a matter of timing; the way you handle a meeting, the place where you choose to take your boss for dinner. You’ll be dressing a little better, you’ll become interested in people, you’ll become a little more healthy with exercise – all these areas of your life will naturally be raised up.

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